Hexagram 54 - Keeping Attraction/Affection In Check
Hexagram 54 shows that you must maintain balance in your relationships, not just in love relationships, but in all your relationships. You must know how to give affection, when that affection is necessary.
This i Ching symbol also shows you that you should keep your expectations realistic. Don’t expect too much from someone or from a certain situation when you have no reason to.
Hexagram 54 Symbol

Hexagram 54 is composed of 3 unbroken and 3 broken horizontal lines. This symbol is associated with realistic expectations.
Hexagram 54 Balanced Affection Realistic Expectations Vulnerability to Manipulation |
Like food, drink, and rest, attraction is an essential aspect of human life. For some, attraction to another person is nothing too serious but, for others, it may be an extreme matter of life or death. A bigger fire is harder to put out, especially when the ignition itself lies within the heart.
Hexagram 54 from the I Ching serves as a reminder that fires can sometimes blaze out of control turning everything nearby into ash. When attraction is left unchecked, it can ruin other important aspects of your life like an uncontrollable fire. Fortunately or unfortunately, taming it might require flooding the source.
Guidance:
- Intimate relationships thrive with the right amount of affection and worldly life balance. Earning sustenance is necessary to survive while attraction essentially nourishes the soul.
- Extreme attraction requires special attention. On a journey as a lover, one might discover sides of his/her personality that never came through before.
- When unable to pick a fruit higher up on the tree, it’s common to feel undeserving and not worthy of good things. However, keep in mind that just because someone’s out of your “league” does not mean they’re automatically the better option; as a matter of fact, ripe fruits usually hang lower.
Warnings:
- Unbalanced attraction can be disastrous to your career, goals, and other personal relationships. Too much of anything is never good.
- Excessive attraction to one person can make life feel like a fairytale when it’s really not. The world is a cruel place and its people won’t think twice before running over you.
- The same person you love can take advantage of your affection and throw you away. Unfortunately, a heart that loves deeply falls weak in such cases.
Hexagram 54 Message
A forest fire is difficult to contain. When your heart is attracted to another human, it gets you desperately chasing that person’s energy like a moth chases a flame. In that moment, one cannot care less about other aspects of life being affected since every ounce of your being is occupied with chasing after that magical flame – until it’s too late. A quick look back will give you a clear picture of all that you’ve lost in the high of attraction. For some, it’s not a lot; for others, it may be a sight of sheer horror.
Avoidance of attraction/affection isn’t the key here – it’s control and keeping that attraction in check. Restrained attraction can be balanced with other aspects of life, allowing you to make something out of your shallow existence and fulfill the void of romantic love simultaneously.
Hexagram 54 Message For Love & Relationships
Every intimate relationship comes with troubles and sacrifices. Expecting the boat to sail smoothly and not encounter any waves is naive and foolish. Despite there being a seemingly low tide today, tomorrow a high tide can raise the water level and cause bigger waves. When you enter a relationship, remember that you sign up to be a part of your partner’s ups and downs.
Every day in a relationship is not rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes, both partners have to battle the hounds of hell on their own to possibly see a better tomorrow together.
Messages From The Lines Of Hexagram 54

Line 1:
When love stands in front of you, pay utmost attention; when it’s not, pay utmost attention to other important matters. Attraction will only bother and distract if you let it take control of your senses. The world still requires you to be productive and make a living to survive. Feeling warm and connected to a “special someone” is a part of life, not all of it.
Line 2:
In enemy territory, attraction to someone can mean weakness. As mentioned before, the world is a cruel place and its people will not hesitate to get from you what they need. In such cases, avoid being too loud about your feelings as a lover so that they can’t use it to gain leverage. If you believe the person you secretly admire will take advantage of your feelings, think twice before dropping hints or confessing to the truth.
Line 3:
Showing kindness and affection truly goes a long way even if it isn’t of a romantic sort. In social situations, however, it can be difficult to figure out whom you should and shouldn’t be affectionate towards; things can get awkward very fast if your affection isn’t taken or interpreted well.
Don’t overthink it – be your authentic self and walk like you only bring positive vibes to the table! The right of people – worthy of affection – will silently be drawn in by your energy.
Line 4:
Powerful attraction can sometimes lead to great disappointment. Don’t, however, blame your affectionate nature for it. Your heart saw a ray of light and it went after that hope because that’s what it’s meant to do. Good relationships are developed when the heart is willing to go the extra mile. In such an instance, both parties are not at fault. You can’t force someone to admire you as much as you admire them. Realizing that it just wasn’t meant to be is a hard pill to swallow.
Line 5:
A wise man never speaks everything that lies in his heart; some words are better left unsaid. When truly attracted to someone, it’s good to spend time with them and even drop subtle hints here and there. But, don’t bomb the other person with your feelings. Life gives everyone the opportunity to say their heart out – wait till your turn comes around. Till then, be secretive but make your intentions clear.
Line 6:
An important part of controlling the damage that comes with attraction is to open your eyes to reality. Oftentimes, the harsh truth lies in front of us and yet we refrain from glancing at it because it gives us a visual of loss. Good relationships, career goals, and other aspirations all turn to ash when neglected for too long.
Civilizations begin with mere attraction and can possibly fall because of attraction. Check and balance really serves as a savior in such matters. Keep in mind that Hexagram 54 does not encourage you to avoid attraction - just be careful with it. Even the wisest of men can turn naive at the hands of attraction and neglect other important aspects of their lives. A healthy balance should leave you with less of a mess to clean up if things don’t work out and immense joy if they do.